Each step taken in the direction of my car and the church seemed to be in juxtaposition to where I had been, where I was going, where I needed to be, and where I thought I was. Every step I took after I climbed off the rock seem to be both a second and millennia long. The path I took to get in to this place seemed to go from light salmon colored sand closest to the car and turned into a deep red colored clay which is where I finally eneded up at the final rock. Now walking back the dirt under my feet goes from dark red to white, to salmon to burnt siena. The hues are messing with my mind and my understanding of where i am. At one point I looked up and saw the church in front of me and the next I was back at the flat rock, it was as if I was jumping forward and backward through time by using my mind. When I would think about the flat rock and how far away it was from the church I would go back when I thought about my car and the light sand I would move forward. Every thought brought me closer or further away from my destination. Once I realized I was stuck in this time loop I lost my way. I took a path that was an extnetion of the path I was on. Watching the color variances in the path beneath my feet I noticed an interesting track that I had not seen before. It looked like a deer hoove but smaller. I follow this track as it seemed to be accompanied by a tennishoe mark to its side. Following the tracks deeper and deeper into the rock filled landscape I completely loose trace of the church, my head lifts up and I see a barbed wire fence with a big X and a sign that says no trespassing. My heart begins to beat out of my chest as I realize I am lost. Looking around I cant see where I am within the landscape and realize I have no cellular service to see where the church is. Looking down I realize my only chance at finding my way out is to follow the tracks that brought me here in the first palce.
Backtracking as fast as I can I am startled to hear shuffeling in the bushes surrounding me to the left and right of my path. Stopping abruptly I see a Javelina run across my path. Now terrified, I take a step ahead and hear squellles erupt from either side of the path. The Javelina claw at the dirt shuffeling around in what I can only assume to be some predator escape plan. As they create distractions on either side of the path I run quickly down the gully where they were and up the side of the hill opposite where I was. Twisting my ankle I get caught by a rock as one more Javelina runs across the path at my back. Heart racing I come up to the ceremony sigh where I realize I might have taken a wrong route. Moving quickly now I rush up a path I pray will get me back to the parking lot in front of the church.
Finally creasting a ridge that gave visual confirmation of the church I sit in a moment of relief that my adventure was over. What happened after I had lied down on that rock? All sense of time and space had left me. I felt as if I could move forward and back on my timeline placing myself I experiences I had previously been and not yet achieved. When time and space became to playful I lost my way and meet the Javelina who disturbed my route enough to force me onto a path that connected to my present.
Now sitting in my car outside the gated entrance of the path, I feel my heart pounding against my chest and wonder what the meaning of this encounter could be. I question reality and feel as if I have been removed from the part of the world that is quantifiable. With no clear answer I begin driving white knuckled back to my hotel. I see and hear things that lead me to question if I have done this all before, if I have been here before, if I have experienced this before. My reality has been shaken quite dramatically and I am left with only questions which back at the hotel only became more muddled. Lying in bed tying to relax and find some meaning in the experience I click on the TV trying to drone out the onslaught of questions probing my mind. Commercials begin to play and seem to last for hours, or repeat over and over front to back and back to front. I seem to know all of the local personalities advertising law offices, insurance and news stories yet I have never been here before or tuned into the TV... Layering hour on top of hour there is never a show only the local commercials repeating and stretching making my mind nearly go insane. What is happening and PLEASE let sleep find me.