THE GOAL OF LEVEL 2
Level 2 is identified by the EMOTIONS. People who get caught up in emotions, people who try to understand the emotions. The problem with this level is that you have to get triggered to understand what is YOU and what is not YOU. That means in order to elevate out of this level you have to be willing to get triggered and do you work in this world while in connection to other people’s crap! That means you trust yourself enough and your purpose that you become vulnerable in front of other people and don’t have to defend or run away from what you feel, instead you use the TRIGGERS of the emotions to go inward and figure out what is happening in connection to all of the life experiences you accumulated during LEVEL 1.
Solar Plexus Chakra (step 3)
How glad I am that I decided to meditate today. I sit here very light and calm with another internal realization that has just come forth to present itself during a time of non judgment and reflection. One of my assignments this week was to disconnect from the feeling of self doubt by talking ownership of my actions and discontinuing the little lies that I tell myself. Before I sat in meditation I had a bit of a thought come through my mind that had peaked my interest for further review. I decided it would be my question during the meditation session today.
Not too long ago, maybe about a year ago, I decided to go back to college. I had never completed my degree and after only half a year at Hawaii Pacific University I decided to leave college to start a career in the spa industry. After quite a few successful jobs and many notable titles, I decided to go back to online college to complete my degree. If I was so accomplished in my career why did I ever feel the need to go back and finish college? To be honest, with my resume in the spa industry I could get a job anywhere without any hesitation. Today I realized that there is a deeply hidden piece of me that had been tucked away until now. This piece of me that I have given a voice to today has never felt deserving of all the success it has earned. It feels like the rug may be pulled out from under its feet at any second and everything will be lost. It feels scared and protective. I discovered today that this is where the seed of myself doubt has stemmed from.
This past January I made the decision to go back to college. Most people would congratulate this and be happy for the fulfillment of a scholarly aspiration. I look at this and now wish I had done more self searching before I decided to go back. This degree would give me no more capabilities for current job progression, as I am as high up in my field as I can and truthfully want to go. I realize now I used continued education to bandaid my solar plexus chakra and hide some very deep-seeded feelings of self doubt and lack of confidence. In my mind I told myself if I completed this degree I would have the ability to justify my position in this current career and I could possibly study acupuncture or other areas of interest if I decided to. I would not need to have or use this degree in my current profession. Honestly it was only to settle my own self doubt and maybe have some fun learning a few new things along the way.
I justified the decision to go back to college in my head with these lies I was telling myself. I felt that if I gained more schooling people would recognize me as accomplished and more deserving of my status. I discovered that my solar plexus chakra or my self confidence center was lacking at times. Due to my career success at such a young age. I can honestly say that over the years I have sometimes felt like an actor. I cannot believe that my bosses had so much faith in me to perform the tasks they hired me for. I was 19 when I opened my first spa! I often wondered how someone like me was given so much responsibility at such a young age, and how and why did everyone believe I could do what I could do? I became very successful early on and with that came great accountability. I was thrown into a professional world where I basically had to learn everything as I went along. Thankfully everything always seemed to come easily, but that’s not to say it wasn’t pressure-filled. I am thankful for having great mentors and a lot of return on luck. You find me sitting here today as an almost thirty-year-old spa director of a resort hotel. I have spent over eleven years in this industry and feel so accomplished. I am happy today that I could give a voice to this dark persona within my being. I can sit in meditation and understand that these feelings of unworthiness are unwarranted and unnecessary. I came into today thinking I had a healthy, almost fully worked-through solar plexus chakra. I knew my gut instincts had always been dead on and felt a lot of my success came from listening to and trusting these hunches. I never questioned myself or the direction I was being shown because I knew my journey was one of divine purpose. I always trusted and believed in my passions, but somewhere along the way I started to interpret my success as luck and not hard work, dedication to myself, and understanding of my higher calling. I started to view my accomplishments as unwarranted and looked for the things I did not succeed at, like school, to fill that void. I now understand that my path required me to progress in a different way and somewhat contrary to the normal path. I realize that this was my destiny, and by listening to my hunches and guidance I was able to successfully accomplish what needed to be done in order to get me here today. This past week I have relearned how to interpret the energy of my solar plexus chakra. I feel that I have yet again established a strong and knowing connection deep within my being and have a sense of joy moving forward. I am excited to be able to rejoin the human race here today with an understanding that we all come from such diverse backgrounds and experiences and it is not our job judge ourselves or others for the paths they have taken. Each path is a divine example of the lessons that soul had to learn. I look forward to sharing my story of inspiration to help others understand how worthy and accomplished they are in their own journeys. As individuals we should never feel the need to prove ourselves to anyone, let alone ourselves. If these are feelings that you struggle with there might be deeply seeded and tucked away self esteem and self doubt problems hiding in your solar plexus chakra.
As I explained earlier, I came into this week thinking my solar plexus and self esteem were strong. Here I am again realizing that I have been feeding myself one too many little lies to distract from the true issues lying dormant with in my being. I could have never imagined that at this stage in the game I still harbored such doubt in my physical accomplishments and felt like I still had pieces of myself to prove. I feel stronger now with the realization of these facts. I find comfort in the knowing that this doubt still lived inside of me and feel by simply shining the light of truth on this part of my hidden self I will be able to move forward as soon as this pen drops away from my hand today. I have gained presence from my root, vulnerability and release of control from my sacral, and now true confidence that I already have everything I need in life from my solar plexus. I feel so physically connected to myself at this point that I can understand the deeper meaning of these three chakras and why people explain them to be our physical chakras, the first triad or the lower self. There was so much physical learning and retraining I had to go through these past weeks to understand that to move forward I had to literally purge out a lot of the crap I was fed about being a physical human being. At this stage in life I have learned many ways to protect myself and my energetic centers that have harmed my spiritual growth. I am ready to move forward in an open and receptive way, as a being who is free of the constraints placed upon me. I know that moving forward with this newfound base my spiritual progression is bound to soar!